5 Avril 2020
Day 22 of confinement
This morning as I am enjoying a simple and healthy breakfast on my narrow balcony, I started hearing the Voice...you know that Voice which wants you to stop and listen...that same one who dictated me what to write for so many years of communication with all of you, on this blog, others, on my newsletters starting more than 28 years ago already , on my ABB pages, in my book and always, always there when I am walking or just daydreaming!
The Voice wants to be heard and no matter what I can do to try to negotiate with it, "Not now don't you see I am just enjoying this quiet moment with myself", or "Later I promise I will take a notebook and download your message", or "Do you really think this is important enough to stop and write and maybe even share with others?
The Voice doesn't want to wait, like a 5 year's old toddler it lives in the Here Now...and you know it, you know that if you dont yield now, it is going to search for some other more complying soul who will let it cross its heart and move through its hands to become manifested in words.
So this morning the Voice urged me to listen and become a clear channel, to let it be heard...
So I did, I am listening to it right here, right now as it is expressing itself freely. As I am writing there is no judgement and no censorship is allowed, I just need to be the scribe, just be the sincere messenger, knowing that I am not the message
So here it goes, "What have you done totally new these past 22 days of not leaving your sanctuary and seeing a soul physically?". " What part of your routine has drastically changed and what new ritual have you made part of your daily activities?"
It is time for a personal review.
I know the Voice only wants what best for me, it doesn't come from me, although it feels like it does, it comes through me so it does have some kind of objectivity in the saying...
Well dear Voice, for start right this morning I took my breakfast on the balcony, never done this for the past 20 years that I own this little apartment in Casablanca. Not that the view was not agreeable, or because the place being too small to have a little table and chair, no not for those reasons. I didn't make the time, I didn't find it appealing enough since there are so many cafes with terrasses all around my neighborhood. But most importantly being surrounded by many schools, it was too noisy and loud and polluted by cars coming and going and dropping kids like truck deliveries in the busy narrow street of Manhattan, around the Fashion District near Port Authority.
I take a deep breath and remember that time, my NYC then and my NYC now, so many memories ! ( funny how one reflection brings another one and memory starts to kick in). I can hardly imagine the streets empty, the subways stopped in their infernal eternal traffic, people locked down in their small tiny studios, or in their luxury triplex overlooking Central Park. I think of my friends in the city, my friends in NJ, my friends in Long Island...Those who are still young and those who are older and more fragile. I think of my son in Virginia, my soul daughter in Richmond, all my friends and family everywhere in the world and in Morocco, I remember a whole past life which will never be the same again.
Right here on my balcony, birds and seagulls keep their normal coming and going , it is now the only serious traffic in the air and on land ...One huge seagull actually had a small slice of pizza in its beak , and I remembered my first slice of pizza in PapaJohn Pizza, NYC 1989...disgusted at first but quickly hooked as a newcomer in the American "culinary" lazy fast food habits!
The Voice wants me to look at all this and reflect on what is actually happening right here , right now? Come back dear soul, here and now, what is really happening?
Like the caterpillar you are forced to go into the cocoon..It is not comfortable, it might even be really scary, you are alone, it is dark, you dont know when you will come out of it or even if you will come out of it alive. One thing for sure you wont come out of it the way you came into it. But like the caterpillar you must start to live from yourself, from your own inner resources, you no longer can go out and be nourished or distracted by external sources, you must like the caterpillar start to eat your entire past form so you can birth the new one. The caterpillar doesnt know how beautiful it will become even though it does have already all the signs and colors on it before entering the cocoon.
You will become that amazing butterfly , it's been years that the Voice is telling you all , that was inevitable. You didn't want to go by your own will, now you are forced into it...Granted it is violent, but you all know that the more you wait to fix a pattern the more the message from the Universe becomes loud , clear and painful! And you wouldn't have stopped your crazy lifestyle voluntarily even though you knew it was unhealthy, your body achingly telling you just that for years...
...So now that you are in the cocoon, dont try to escape it, you will only slow down the process and the process is painful..So it will all depend on how long you want to suffer...The Buddhist pray "May all beings be free from suffering" maybe they have prayed so much that it is happening to us all at once! What an amazing blessing in disguise. Of course some souls , many souls among us are departing, leaving this Earth for maybe other planes or platforms we can't even start to imagine.
You owe it to those souls to make the very best, no not the very best, your "bestest" ever today and accept the cocoon transformative opportunity . The Voice continues by saying, make the cocoon just as comfortable as possible, you dont need the superfluous, it is time to keep only what is essential, time to face what it is that you want to keep and what it is that will no longer serve you.
This time is unique, this time is what Saturn in Aquarius is starting ( 3years of Saturn revolution in this sign) It does impact us all, Aquarius is the sign of universality, fraternity, solidarity, humanism and futur visionaries ...Saturn is the ruler of what is essential and what is not, it is restriction, restructuring of financial system and security, creating new health foundations....
We are all going through major changes together, it is a major Collective Rebirth and that in itself is reassuring...some in better situations than others, yet collective consciousness is awakening and many will lend a hand to those you will suffer more.
So as I was watching the clear sky this morning, listening to the magic sound of the birds, the Voice asked me what are you doing for this change you were all asking for?
I got up and started to write, this is what I can do right here, right now. And maybe help activate, inspire and listen to the birth of a new world in all those you will need me to.
This is what happens when you sit too long daydreaming and watching a seagull flying over your head with a slice of pizza in its beak...I will take that any day over being distracted by passers by while enjoying a very selfish and sterile breakfast sitting in a Casablanca outdoor cafe ...
And you how do you do and what does the Voice tell you ?
Much love, stay home, please stay safe and become the beautiful butterfly you are meant to be, help birth the new world you are carrying a unique part in you.
Salima Luna Ghazal Raoui